From Pig Slave Grunt News Issue #7 Winter 1997:
While surfing the web I came across a guy named Wes, and a comprehensive list of songs from the 70's that really pissed him off. Here's 22 of the most outstanding nominations with Wes' comments:
1) Morris Albert "Feelings":
'Wo, wo, wo, feelings...'
2) America "Tin Man": "Oz never did give nothin'
to the Tin Man, that he didn't, didn't already have'...
3) Paul Anka "Having My Baby": Did someone say abort?
4) Chuck Berry "My Ding A Ling": A shame Chuck finally
made it to Number One with a kiddie song about his dick.
5) Stephen Bishop "On And On": A lot less funny than
his ANIMAL HOUSE cameo where he sang 'I gave my love a chicken
that had no bone'...
6) Blue Swede "Hooked On A Feeling": Did these guys
sound constipated or what? 'Ooga-choka!'
7) Rita Coolidge "Higher and Higher": Jackie Wilson
is doing somersaults in his grave.
8) Crosby, Stills and Nash "Just A Song Before I Go":
Alright, as long as you leave.
9) Mac Davis "Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me" : 'I'll just
use you then I'll set you free-ee-ee'
10) John Denver "Sunshine On My Shoulder": I always
thought this would be a good tune for post-operative lobotomites
to learn.
11) Carl Douglas "Kung Fu Fighting": 'It was as fast
as lightening... In fact, it was a little bit fright-ening'
12) Eagles "Best of My Love": Rule of thumb-
do not use 'wo-ho-ho' as a lyric.
13) Dan Fogelberg "Longer": Longer than there've been
fishies in the ocean, I've been in love with yooooo...
14) Albert Hammond "It Never Rains In So. California":
Thanks for the weather report but it does actually.
15) Terry Jacks "Seasons In The Sun": ...But the stars
we could reach were just starfish on the beach'
16) Kansas "Dust In The Wind": I used to call it "Ducks
in the Wind". 'All we are is ducks in the wind'...
17) Barry Manilow "Copacabana" 'At the Copa, Copacabana,
The hottest spot North of Havana..'
18) Don McLean "American Pie": Why do people care what
this really means?
19) Moody Blues "Nights In White Satin": King Crimson
should've stolen their mellotron back.
20) Michael Murphy "Wildfire": 'She kept calling Wiiiiiiild-fire'
21) The Osmonds "One Bad Apple": This is what they tried
to pit against the Jacksons? Mormons...dancing??
22) Paul Revere "Indian Reservation": Proving once again
that the best way not to help a group of people is to write a
pop song about 'em.