Q: Now that Mike Sweeney has $55 million Wal-Mart bucks, is he too expensive for the A's to call up?

A: They'll wait to call him up in 2004 as they currently have payroll problems of their own. Sweeney has one more year for sure with KC, then...SEE YA.

Q: Is Mark Quinn done "Kung -Fu Fighting?'

A: Not sure about Kung-Fu Fighting, but he was done playing major league baseball in 2002. Have fun in Omaha, you immature putz.

Q: Will ANY Royals pitcher (besides Paul Byrd) win more than ten games this year? A: Nope.

Q: When will David Glass turn Kauffman Stadium into a Sam's Club?

A: No renovations coming any time soon. Nothing changes without taxpayer revenue, and no such luck while the stock market swims in the Tidy Bowl.

Q: Will the Royals lose 100, or only 95 games this year? A: 100!!!! Ding Ding Ding...a new all time record for futility!

Q: John Mizerock??? Who??? What???? Huh??? A: Invited back for 2003 as Royals 1st Base coach. He'll carry a billy club at Comiskey Park.

Q: Tony Peña??? Who??? What???? Huh???

A: "Chico Esquela" won't last long if he continues to let the inmates run the asylum. The Neifi Perez incident was inexcusable and a dangerous precedent was set.

Q: Strike??? Who??? What???? Huh???

A: Narrowly averted with an eleventh hour agreement. The situation still sucks for small market teams, but its a baby step in right direction.

Q: 100 losses??? Really?? Damn!!!!

A: Apparently, nobody is responsible for 2002 as the "organizational goal" in 2003 is to play .500 baseball. Geez, dare to dream, fellahs.