George Blowfish's 2009 Royals Blog Page

Royals Final Record: 65-97, .401, last place (Tied with Cleveland) -21.5 GB of Minnesota.

ESPN keeps a great schedule of Royals upcoming games, and records from previous games. You can follow along here:

Visit these Great Royals Pages, Blogs and MLB Info Sites and get all the latest poop on the boys in blue:

Rany On the Royals • Joe Posnanski's Blog • Sam Mellinger's Blog

Kansas City Royals Official Team Web Site • ESPN's Royals Clubhouse

Royals Corner Blog • Royales With Cheese • Baseball Chapel

Fan Graphs (Baseball Stats for Geeks) • In Dayton We Trust

The Royal Treatment • Royals Fan House (AOL) • MLB Player's Site

Royals Web site in Spanish • Royals Review • Royals Authority

Hapless Royals • Royal Report Card • The Royal Tower

The Pipeline (Royals Minor Leagues) • Royally Speaking • Royal Blues

Royals On Radio Etc. • Undying Royalty

810 WHB (KC Radio) • 610 KCSB (KC Radio)

Before we get started: It's another year of tracking the daily antics of those lovable losers, the Kansas City Royals. But after 24 years of being lovable losers, Royals fans are hungry for a respectable team. Things seem to be turning in the right direction. Kauffman Stadium is well on the way to being totally new. We have a hungry GM and manager. We have the highest Royals payroll in team history. We have Billy Butler , Mike Aviles and Alex Gordon looking to break out with career seasons. We have the best closer in baseball -Joakim Soria- in the pen. And we're coming off the first year in a long, long time where we didn't finish dead last in the AL Central. Nowhere to go but up!

So here we go again. I'll write occasional thoughts and rants during the season. Don't look for daily updates. I'm way too lazy to do that, and sometimes the season just makes me speechless. Good luck, boys in blue. We're all counting on you!

September 5th: It's Labor Day Weekend, and last night began the usual September "I get free tickets thrown at me" season again. Last night was different, as the free tickets thrown at me were Crown Seats behind home plate. Three good friends and I had third row seats behind home plate for Zack Nebraska, coming off a 15-K outing his last start in Seattle. Zack pitched seven shutout innings, took an unearned run in the eighth, got pulled in the ninth and the Royals lost 2-1. This guy never gets ANY run support. It's sad, really, because he's had Cy Young stuff this year. Truly a hard luck loss. The Royals are season high 34 games under .500, playing at a .375 winning (or should we say "Losing" percentage. How does the Wal-Mart Royals owner David Glass react to this steaming turd? He rewards GM Dayton Moore a five year contract extension. How does Moore react? He says Trey Hillman will be back as the manager again next year. How does Hillman react? He blows his next three games. Sam Mellinger had an excellent article in the KC Star today about "Ideas For A Change" with the Royals for the off-season. He makes some suggestions, but also says the Royals are "masking holes with duct tape" and will have no real chance next year. Great. I'm stoked. Let the 2010 season ticket drive begin!

August 21st: Today Kansas City squares off against Minnesota in both football and baseball. The Chiefs have an exhibition game against the Vikes, and the return of Brett Favre, or "Judas" as they like to call him in Wisconsin. The Royals play the Twins for no known reason. At this point the Royals are 17 games out behind Detroit, and five games behind Cleveland for last in the AL Central. I'm sure Cleveland wonders how the hell that could possibly happen with the kind of crappy year they've had. Only the lowly DC Nats have less wins, four less - than the Royales with Cheese in 2009. Royals are also on pace to set the all time AL record for pass balls and wild pitches in one season. Alex Gordon was sent to Omaha this week because people in Nebraska just LOVE him. OK, actually it's because he's hitting .198 and if he spends the rest of the AAA season in Bugaha, it delays his free agency by another year. Not that its going to matter if he keeps hitting .198. To show you how bad he's been sucking, his spot on the roster was taken by Kyle Farnsworth, so....that's pretty awful. Billy Butler has been raking. He's at .298 with 14 homers, just two behind Jacobs and Olivo. Jacobs has whiffed 100 times in 321 ABs, so he K's about one in every three plate appearances. That's pathetic for a DH. Basically there is no good news. I'd say Hillman's job would have to be in jeopardy, and this week in the paper it was said that both his father in law and sister are in the hospital with serious life threatening illnesses, so it can't be a fun time for him now. Thankfully, there's only about five weeks of this turd sandwich left, then we can do the annual autopsy. This year has been one of the most disappointing in many years, to say the least.

August 3rd: Today the Royals won for the first time all season against Tampa Bay. They were being no-hit until the 8th, when John Buck unexplainably got a hit, and the Royals offense exploded for four runs and a 4-1win. Wow. impressive. Add Mark Teahen to the injury list. He has a bad back. Lot of that seems to be going around the ole' clubhouse. Meche, Buck, now Teahen. Sidney Pondscum got cut loose today and the Royals brought back Kyle Davies from Omaha. Talk about pick your poison. Both have been hideous this year. Nobody got traded at the trade deadline Monday. Seems nobody really wants any of these current players, and who can blame ANY team in MLB for passing on this crop of losers? Today in the KC Star, Sam Mellinger wrote a great article on Royals' Mangers over the past 15 years, and how skippering the Royals has been a quick trip to managerial oblivion. Boone, Muser, Peña, Bell and Hillman, ALL under .500 as Royals skippers. Here is the article. It makes me want to cry:
http://www.kansascity.com/sports/story/1359267.html
Being the Royals’ Manager is a Numbing Grind
By SAM MELLINGER- The Kansas City Star
The Royals’ manager of the moment leaned against the dugout fence, watching another boneheaded play in another loss at Kauffman Stadium.
This particular play featured a missed cutoff man. But it could have been a dropped popup or a botched bunt attempt or a four-pitch walk to the leadoff man or any sadly comic play that Royals fans have grown to expect. On this night, normally polite Midwesterners booed the home team from the stands. The manager couldn’t blame them. He turned to one of his coaches for what had become a common exchange.
“Did you coach him to do that?” the manager asked.
“No,” the coach responded. “I haven’t talked to that guy yet.”
Manager and coach then shared a forced laugh, black humor being their way of dealing with the agony of a job that is now grinding away at a fifth man in 15 years. The manager in that little vignette was Buddy Bell, but, really, it might have been Bob Boone or Tony Muser or Tony Peña or even Trey Hillman. Only the names have changed. The experiences remain consistent, the collective group has lost 1,354 games over the last 15 years — most in baseball or any other major professional sport. Kansas City is where a manager’s optimism comes to die. The only winning season came in 2003, a third-place finish at four games above .500. The next year, the Royals lost 104 games. It’s now Hillman’s turn to live this particular brand of frustration. He is in the vote-of-confidence phase, the manager of a team that had expected to contend but instead will need to improve just to avoid 100 losses for the fifth time in eight years.The men who came before him can relate. Their stories of leading one of pro sports’ biggest losers follow a worn-out plot. What’s happening to the Royals and Hillman right now is much the same story that’s happened to past teams and managers.
The Smiles
Royals executives actually used the word “giddy” when Hillman was hired. He was baseball’s hottest managerial prospect — born with a Texas toughness, raised in the Yankees’ system and having grown up with championships in Japan before he took over the Royals.
George Brett called Boone “one of the best minds in baseball,” and can you think of a better welcoming to Kansas City?
The stories of managing the Royals are like the opposite of a fairy tale. Nobody lives happily ever after, but they all get a pleasant-enough start. Nobody’s time illustrates that better than Peña’s. He quit the team in shame, blind siding team executives as news of a court order for him to testify in a neighbor’s divorce trial surfaced. But before all that, he had his white-knight beginning. Peña’s Royals pulled off a double steal in his first game. Afterward, he smiled and said things like, “I will never, ever sit back,” and “We can win; we will win.”His energy infected the team. People told Peña stories. He danced in the clubhouse, made the clubhouse speakers blare and he made everyone — Dominicans, Venezuelans, Cubans and Californians — laugh and feel excited and motivated. He made his players believe. He made the fans believe. At one point, he made all that believing official with T-shirts that screamed “Nosotros Creemos!” — We Believe! “What I did worked,” Peña says. “What I did worked, because we tried to get the players believing in themselves.” Peña’s peak came in 2003. The Royals started 16-3, led the AL Central by seven games at the All-Star break, and played with a loose confidence stolen straight from their manager. They fell toward the end, stumbling into third place, but the feat remained impressive enough that Peña won the American League Manager of the Year award. Peña’s time with the Royals crashed hard, like it always does for managers here. Peña wants to manage again someday. He says he’ll be pickier about the next opportunity. He wants a better situation than the one now being managed by Hillman. “I will search the organization, try to see the talent they have,” Peña says. “If you have talent, players that care, you can make it work. It all depends on the talent.”
The Reality
Hillman’s reality came sooner than most. There was a split clubhouse in his first season, masked by an 18-win September that sent everyone into the off season with good vibes. Reality came back this season, in the form of injuries and losing streaks and criticism that he admits bothers him.
Boone remembers meeting his own reality. He doesn't have an exact date, but he looked at the lineup card before one game and figured the other team had the advantage at seven positions, maybe more. He shook his head, accepted his fate, and watched his team lose.
Years later, he doesn’t hesitate when asked what managing the Royals is all about.“ It means the other team’s better than yours,” he says.
Every Royals manager of the last 15 years has had a similar aha moment. Peña’s may have been when a no-name minor-leaguer got called up for a spot start at Yankee Stadium, convincing many of his teammates that the organization had no real intention of winning.
Muser’s may have been spring training 2001, when the Royals nearly won the Grapefruit League, and an out-of-town writer told him it wouldn’t matter, that the Royals would probably still finish last. As it happened, the writer was correct. “It’s like,” Muser says, “you’re always, ‘Pick yourself up, pick yourself up, pick yourself up.’ You run out of Knute Rockne speeches, and then the reality of baseball comes in.” Bell knew enough that by the time his team had lost its 10th consecutive game in 2006, he said, “I never say it can’t get worse.” The Royals lost the next day. Boone’s realities produced some unfortunate moments. He publicly called Mike Sweeney an immature catcher, tinkered too much with lineups, and there was a sense that he took too much of the credit while accepting too little of the blame. With the benefit of time and perspective, Boone says all the second-guessing and fan criticism is fine. It’s one of the beauties of baseball, he says, that informed fans can think along with the manager’s strategy. Boone came to Kansas City just after the 1994 strike, when an ownerless team led by a board of directors was slashing costs at every turn. Hillman’s 2009 Royals are better off, but even with a 20 percent payroll hike, their payroll is smaller than 20 of the 29 other teams. The details of this story have changed, but the general plot remains consistent. “I don’t believe in fair,” Boone says. “I don’t like the word ‘fair.’ There are excuses to be made when you talk about fair. The game’s not fair. So you deal with the hand you’re dealt. You don’t worry about fairness.”
The End
There is no way to know how Hillman’s time in Kansas City will end, of course. Maybe he’ll get a better opportunity somewhere else. Maybe he’ll be fired. Maybe he’ll get a parade. But the end will come, and if history is any indication, it’s been more than two decades and seven managers since the Royals had something to brag about. Hillman’s time in Kansas City so far has followed a familiar script, the one that ends ugly. Like what happened with Muser in 2002. Muser was in the hotel bar in Detroit, celebrating a win over the Tigers with his coaches, when a reporter told him he’d been fired. Muser went to his room and saw the message light blinking on his phone. General manager Allard Baird was embarrassed. Owner David Glass was irritated. Muser tried to roll with it. “I would rather it have been done differently,” he says. “But it didn’t. I’m not going to ruin the rest of my life and carry a grudge because of it. I’m 62, and I want to enjoy the rest of my life.” Royals managers have had a lot of ugly endings the last 15 years. Boone was fired the night of the 1997 All-Star Game. Peña took the losing so hard in 2005 he says he was literally going crazy, unable to eat or sleep or smile until he quit one day in May and hopped a plane back home. Bell asked for a contract extension in 2007, and when it didn’t come, announced in August he would step down after the season. The Royals lost all but seven of their last 25 games. The experiences of these men create a familiar path for Royals managers, one that most likely seeps into the present and also the future. None of the managers regrets their decision to take the job. There are only 30 like it in the world. Muser says if he had it to do again, he’d be a little less stern. But for the most part, these men are without regret. They are mostly proud of their time in Kansas City, treasuring the friendships, the help in developing players like Sweeney, Johnny Damon, Carlos Beltran and Zack Greinke. Managers are hired to be fired, the old saying goes, and it’s probably a little truer in Kansas City than most places. The benefit of time has given them a perspective about leading the Royals that Hillman cannot have quite yet. You ask each if he thinks there’s anything a manager can do to win with a franchise that hasn’t made the right personnel decisions needed to overcome a lower payroll.
Boone: “When you lose, you’re stupid. That’s it.”
Peña: “You have to be patient, patient, patient. Sometimes you run out of patience.”
Muser: “I’m not sure how to answer that. When you put your name on the dotted line, it’s your responsibility.”
There is probably some of Hillman’s story in each of those answers. Someday, he’ll have the perspective to tell it in his own words.

July 22nd: The All Star Break is over. Zack "Steve Nebraska" pitched a 1-2-3 inning then sat down. That was our contribution to the All Star Game. We have not won since. Royals got shellacked in a double header by the Angels yesterday for their 8th straight loss. Only Cleveland and Washington Nats have a worse record than KC at this point of the season, and the Tribe is only 1/2 game behind KC to get out of the AL Central cellar. This team is worse than 2008, if that is possible. Out is Tony Peña, Jr. and his .098 batting average. Out is Luis Hernandez and his .204 batting average. Out is Tug Hulett and his .071 batting average. In is Yuni (or "who gave this guy a Uni?) Betancourt and his .244 batting average. In is Ryan "I Just Don't Know What To" Freel and his .194 batting average. Back off the DL is Wonder Boy Alex Gordon and his .133 batting average. Back from the DL is Catcher John Buck and his .211 batting average. Jesus H. Buckley, what a bunch of stiffs. Only players to show any hope are Billy Butler, who seems to be coming around with a .294 and nine homers, and Callaspo, who's hovered around .300 all year, currently at .298. Every one else, and I mean EVERY one else on offense sucks. Jose Guillen even said he sucked in the paper this week. Nobody argued. Trey "All Star" Hillman got the dreaded vote of confidence from Allard Moore, uh I mean Dayton Baird this week. I won't even talk about pitching, especially middle relief. Suffice to say, Greinke's been good, Bannister has been OK, Meche has an aching back, Soria is back to being Soria. Every one else, and I mean EVERYone else, who throws the ball from the bump sucks. Chiefs training camp starts one week from tomorrow. Only mystery left for the Royales with Cheese if they deal anybody off before the trading deadline, and if they manage to lose 100 games again this year. Possible....certainly possible. Excuse me while I go stab out my eyes with a fork now...

July 4th: Royals didn't make it to the Fourth of July to contend this year. As of this morning, the team is 11 games out and13 games under .500, with a noon game on the Fourth (Why???) against Chicago. Last night the Royals were the same old Royals: Buck Night, Fireworks Spectacular, Sell Out Crowd, Greinke pitching, Royals lose 5-0. So, they draw a big crowd, play like crap. Joe Poz has had two great articles over the past couple days. On July 2nd Poz explains in detail how this years version of the Royals are on pace to be the worst base running team in the modern era of major league baseball. They fail to take extra bases, run into double plays, get thrown out more than any other team in the majors by far. Last night, Hillman started Peña and Hernandez, whose two averages COMBINED don't top .300. This team is an utter train wreck. I would think Dayton Moore and Hillman have one more year after this one to show some improvement, or they are both toast. Royals last year (going into July 4th) were 39-47, 8 games under .500. This year they are 33-46, 13 games under .500. Injuries have been especially bad. Aviles and Crisp are out for the year. Gordon is not due back for another three weeks. Buck might be back, but he's a .220 hitter, so who cares? Jacobs is hitting .160 over his past 100 at bats - and he's your DH, folks. Of the original starting rotation, only guys who remain are Meche and Greinke. Stick a big ole Fourth of July BBQ fork in these guys. Another pathetic season, same old Royals.

June 20th: The month of June has been nearly as depressing as the month of May. The team languishes at 8 games under .500, yet amazingly are only 6.5 games behind Detroit in an incredibly mediocre AL Central. This team has been a drag to watch, and seems to have a special skill at sucking at the worst possible time. Last night against the Cardinals in the opening game of the series, Kyle Davies walks Albert Pujols to avoid him, loading the bases. Next batter Ryan Ludwick smashes a grand slam, St. Louis runs out to a 10-0 lead. This this the third straight game the Royals pitching has given up more than ten runs. Sam Mellinger is a beat writer for the Star, and has a blog that follows the Royals. Manager Trey Hillman was picked as a coach for the AL in the All Star Game in St. Louis, which is a real bad sign for him. From Mellinger's Blog: "This was pointed out by a friend the other day, and presented without comment. Trey Hillman is the ninth Royals manager to be selected as a coach for the All-Star game. Here are the previous eight:
•Bob Lemon, 1972: Fired after the season.
•Jack McKeon, 1974: Fired in July 1975.
•Whitey Herzog, 1978: Fired after 1979 season.
•Dick Howser, 1982, 85: Led the Royals to the 1985 world championship. Stepped away in 1986 and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Passed away the next year. One of three former Royals to have their number retired by the team.
•Hal McRae, 1992: Fired in 1994 in what then-GM Herk Robinson still calls his biggest regret.
•Bob Boone, 1996: Fired in July 1997.
•Tony Muser, 2001: Learned of his firing from reporters in 2002.
•Tony Pena, 2004: Quit in shame in 2005."

June 1st: Thank GOD May is over. Royals have dropped from first to fourth in the last two weeks, getting swept at home today by Chicago for the first time since 2005. They've lost four straight, including losing today behind Greinke. Royals are 15-15 at home, which is bad, and 8-12 on the road, which is worse. With a three city road swing facing them (Tampa to Toronto to Cleveland) they may be out of it by July 4th, which is basically the same old crap in a brand new box. Offense has been horrendous. This team is just a drag to watch. No clutch hits, no power, nothing. Only Billy Butler has improved his play over the past two weeks, with his average pushed up to .291. David DeJesus has been a major disappointment, hitting just .236 with 3 homers, and striking out three times more than walks. Jacobs has K' ed 50 times in 157 ABs, so he whiffs about one out of every three ABs. That's pathetic. Yesterday John Buck's back went out, he was hospitalized and then put on the 15 day DL. No great loss, since his average had dipped to .226. At least Olivo hit a homer over the weekend and has his average up to .239. When will the Royals find a catcher that can hit over .250? Is that too much to ask? Injuries have been everywhere: Crisp, Peña, Gordon, Buck, Aviles, Guillen and Soria, all missing significant time with injuries. Royals are next to last in the American League in team batting average (.253), in the bottom fourth in walks and on base percentage. Only the Angels and A's have fewer home runs. Of all the starters, only Greinke and Bannister have winning records. Sidney Pondscum is still on the roster despite a 1-5 record and a 7.27 ERA. He's only still here because Luke Ho-Chaser got his pud pounded in three straight starts and won a free trip back to Omaha. You know the bullpen is lousy when Farnsworthless has been the most reliable member over the past month. Bale earned a loss, his ERA is up to 8.10. Maybe he'll smash his pitching hand into a wall and take himself out of the mix again. Cruz got his first loss this week. Soria is supposed to come back to the team Tuesday against Tampa, but who knows if he'll be the same pitcher? One of the truly depressing things this year is, every time the Royals draw a big crowd, they piss themselves. It's like getting your ass kicked on the playground in front of your girlfriend, mom and dad, grandparents and your minister. Monday for Memorial day they got beat 13-1 by Detroit. Saturday they draw over 37,000 for Monarchs jersey night, blow a lead in the 9th and lose 5-3 to the greasy Chisox. Home opener against the Yankees they throw Sidney Pondscum out there and lose 4-1. In their last 12 games the Royals are 3-9, including two four game losing skids. Most depressing is they only have ONE MORE WIN at this time then then did in 2008 going into June. So we really haven't seen ANY progress. I would think that Kevin Seitzer would be on the hot seat as hitting coach, and that Hillman might be on the hot seat as manager if this doesn't turn around soon. With the new ballpark, the increase in payroll, and expectations of at least a .500 record, the spam is going to hit the fan if this keeps up.

May 25th: It's been a rough couple of weeks. Royals have lost any momentum from their six game win steak to start the month. They're 4-6 in their last ten games, including being shut out twice in a row 5-0 by the rival St. Louis Cards. So far, the Royals are hitting .255 as a team and have grounded into 37 double plays this season. They've only has seven sacrifice flys. Seven.The Royals have this hilarious graphic on their web site, to vote Royals to All Star Game in St. Louis. Yeah, sure. Stats as of Memorial Day added below the pic. It's said you need to be strong up the middle to succeed. Center field: Crisp, the leadoff guy, is down to .236. Aviles at short was sent to the 15-day DL in St. Louis with a "forearm strain" and a .183 batting average. Aviles looks like the second coming of Angel Berroa, a past Royals rookie of the year shortstop who flamed out after one productive year. Now Hillman is down to relying on Willie Bloomquist to play an adequate shortstop for the foreseeable future. Behind the plate: Starting catcher Olivo batting .234 with 3 homers. Buck is at .235 with 3 homers. Both in a turd dead heat to see who can circle the toilet bowl first. Pitching? Greinke looks to the only true All Star with a 7-1 record, his only loss a 1-0 shutout loss in Anaheim. Meche has been sucking. Today he got beat 13-1 by Detroit on Memorial Day, at home, in front of a huge crowd. He's now 2-5 with a very poor 4.55 ERA. Bannister is the only other Royals starter with a winning record, he's 4-1 with a 2.73 ERA after coming up from Omaha. Luke Ho-Chaser was sent back down after a putrid 3-straight start loss streak and a 10.80 ERA. I can't believe this guy was actually the first pick in the 2006 draft. Thanks Dayton. Thanks Allard. Whichever dumbass GM idiot that pulled the string on that one deserves a sharp stab in the nutsack. Maybe stab both of them really hard in the nutsack just to be sure. There's very little to be excited about now, except that Soria may be back in a week or so after a rehab stint in Arizona, and John Bale pitched well to salvage the final game in St. Louis yesterday for a 3-2 win. Besides that, not much to be very optimistic about. Kevin Seitzer may get whacked for the second time in mid-season by a team under-performing at the plate. These guys better get a clue, and soon. Two or three runs a game ain't gonna cut it, and Detroit is now out to a four game lead after today's 13-1 ass kicking. Still, if you would have said last winter that after Memorial day we'd be one game under .500, I think most Royals fans would think that's progress.

May 13th: Well, last night in Oakland everybody thought the Royals would get well after being swept for the first time in Anaheim over the weekend. Royals could have easily won two of those three games, but got swept, including Greinke taking his first loss. Zack gave up four hits, one run, and lost 1-0. Pathetic. So last night, everyone figures the Royals bounce back against a generally weak Oakland A's team who ain't all that. Plus, it's Luke Ho-Chaser's first start back after tearing it up in Omaha. He was brought up, Soria to the 15-day DL with a sore shoulder, and Sidney Pondscum demoted to the bullpen. What happens? Ho-Chaser gets his ass kicked, Royals get blown out for the first time this year 12-3. They've lost four straight, but are still right behind Detroit in the AL Central. Offense still a big problem. DeJesus at .223 and Aviles at .204 especially need to pick it up. Jacobs still striking out a lot, although he did homer in a 12- 3 rout last night. Crisp has been good defensively, and walks a lot. This has been the first really rough patch this season, hope Royals can stop the bleeding tonight behind Brian Bannister.

May 9th: Royals lost last night in Anaheim 4-1. Well, actually, Jose Guillen lost last night. Gil Meche was in a 2-1 battle into the sixth. Angels batter Howie Kendrick comes up with one on, two out. Kendrick hits a lofting fly ball down the right field line. A gimpy Guillen runs to the line, reaches up for the ball, has it tip off his glove. The ball drops inside the line, rolls to the fence, Kendrick circles the bases, Royals lose 4-1. After the game, Guillen said: "I just missed it. I got under it and just missed it. Closed the glove,There's no excuse. I just messed it up. That's a play you should make. I got there in time, I just missed it." Meche has to eat four earned runs instead of two, strikes out seven in 5 2/3rd innings and drops to 2-3 for the year. In the top of the sixth with Royals down 2-0, Butler comes up with DeJesus on third, Guillen on first, hits a screamer to the gap that rolls to the right center field wall. Guillen can only make it to third, where someone like Mitch Meier would have scored for sure. So, because of Guillen's inability to run, score is 2-1 instead of a 2-2 tie. This loss is pretty much on Guillen, not Meche. Royals are 18-12, with a 2 game lead on Detroit, and Greinke pitches tonight.

May 2nd: Royals lost last night in Minnesota 7-5. Sidney Pondscum is 0-4 with a 7.16 ERA. He hasn't been God Awful, until last night. Luke Ho-Chaser is laying in wait in Omaha to take his spot in the rotation. He'll come up before the month is out, and Sir Sidney will be back to punching people on the beach somewhere. Zack Greinke has been great, he's 5-0 with a 0.50 ERA, and he's the SI Cover Boy this week. Overall, the April start was a good one. The Royals went 12-10 in April. The KC Star pointed out it's only their second winning April in the last 20 years. Only down side is April had a major injury bug. Alex Gordon is out until after the All Star break. Soria has missed about a week with a sore shoulder, Meche and DeJesus has had back trouble, Guillen missed some time with a sore hip, Waechter has a bad elbow. Billy Butler had a breakout game against Toronto with a "Butler Cycle": that's a single, double and two homers. Butler isn't fast enough to get a triple. Royals currently sit 1/2 game behind he greasy Chisox on this date in May.

April 20th: Royals won two out of three from Cleveland and Texas, and had a good chance to sweep both series. Bad news this week is that Alex Gordon had hip surgery for a cartilage tear in Colorado, his owie similar to the injury to A-Rod in New York. He could be out till after the All Star Break, we'll see. He hadn't helped much, striking out eight times in 21 ABs and hitting .095. Jose "Mr. Personality" Guillen should be back next week, just in time for temperatures not to dip much below 60 degrees for awhile. Royals first three starters -Meche, Greinke and Davies- have been pretty good. Greinke threw a gem yesterday in Texas with a 2-0 complete game shutout. Unfortunately, today's quality start by Davies was pretty much botch by Kyle Farnsworthless, who, at this point of the season, owns more than half of the team's total losses. Not good, and certainly not what Dayton Moore paid for. Who would have thought that Sir Sidney Ponson would have been more valuable to the team than Farnsworthless at this point? Team goes into the third week of April tied with the Greasy Chisox and Detroit Kitties at 7-5.

April 9th: The Royals first road trip is done, a quick 3-game opener against the greasy Chisox at "The Cell." Royals come home 2-1 to face the evil Yankees in the home opener tomorrow. The boys in blue very easily come home 3-0 if Trey Hillman doesn't have a brain fart on opening day, and brings in Kyle Farnsworthless to face the ultimate Royal killer (and right handed pitcher killer) Jim Thome, who smacked a three run dinger in the eighth to put the game away. Lots of hand wringing and gnashing of teeth that night, as fans wanted to kill themselves. Why would Hillman bring in a guy who has given up mammoth homers at every stop (Cubs, Braves, Yanks, etc) and, even more puzzling, why not bring in a lefty, when you have Ron Mahay in the pen ready to go? Or, if you're going with a right hander, just bring Soria and let him pitch for four outs and protect a 2-1 lead . Who knows? Luckily,the Royals bounce back on Wednesday night with a brilliant 2-0 win, with Zack Greinke doing his best Steve Nebraska impersonation, going six strong innings and letting Cruz and the Mexicutioner slam the door. Soria threw a curve ball to Jermaine Dye to end the game that was way, way south of Filthy Mc Nasty. Just knee buckling, and a thing of beauty. Royals eek out a win today 2-1 in the Thursday afternoon rubber match. Hero was everybody's favorite cereal, Coco Crisp (who does stay crisp in milk, btw) with a two run dinger in the ninth. Kyle Davies pitches great in his first start, Soria comes in, gives up one run, makes the ninth a little tense, but gets the job done. All in all an excellent job, coming home in FIRST PLACE in the AL Central. We'll take it. We'll definitely take it. Good News: Except for Farnsworthless, Royals pitching has been stellar. Just flat out stellar. Three very strong starts. Greinke also showed some stones, throwing some chin music to Carlos Quentin in his first AB Wednesday night, then plunking him in the back in his second AB. In the opener, Chisox hit two Royal batters with no payback. Coco Crisp (who does stay crispy in milk, btw) is off to a .364 start, and hit a two run dinger in the eighth today for the win. Mark Teahen has played OK so far at second. He made a nice play in the late innings Wednesday night, going far to his right, then throwing back across his body to nip the runner at first. Big play to help preserve the shutout. DeJesus threw two guys out from left on opening day, and both Olivo and Buck have thrown out base runners. So the defense has been good. Bad News: The worst of the Royals starting pitching may be yet to come, with Sidney Pondscum starting the home opener tomorrow vs. the Yanks. Royals struck out 31 times in three games vs Chisox pitching. That's 31 out of 81 outs. That's 38% of the outs being totally non-productive. That has to stop. Royals stranded 28 guys in three games, mostly because of getting zero production from Jacobs and Butler, the alleged two big boppers. That has to stop too. On the plus side, Royal hitters seem more patient at the plate, work deeper counts, and seem to be swinging at decent pitches. They just haven't been able to come up with timely hits. Royals scored only two runs in each of the three games, and came away with two wins. That's not going to happen very often. Tomorrow, in comes New York for the home opener with the Royals in First Place. How you like them apples?

April 5th: Tomorrow is the season opener in Chicago. Forecast calls for a high of 35 degrees with snow and wind. Sounds like a lovely day for baseball, Tonight the Sox delayed the game till Tuesday because of the weather.

Today in the KC Star, the sports section had an overview of all the teams and their payrolls. The Yankees are at $200 million, which is obscene, and $70 million more than the next closest team in the AL, the Boston Red Sox, at $130 million. The A's and Rangers are the lowest at $60 million, Tampa Bay, last year's AL Champs are at $61 million. I guess it makes it more amazing that Tampa Bay actually won last year, seeing that the Yanks spent more than three times more money. Royals spending is next to last in the AL Central. Minnesota has the smallest payroll at $62 million. Largest is Detroit at $127 million, then White Sox at $98 million, then Cleveland at $80 million, then the Royals at $74 million.