Royals Final 2003 Record: 83-79, .512, 3rd in AL Central, Twinkies win division.

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Opening Day March 31st, 2003: Well, the Royals FINALLY had a winning month! What a great opening day. 73 sunny, cloudless degrees, 40,302 screaming Blue Royals fans, a 3-hit, 3-0 shutout over the greasy Chisox. It was perhaps the most perfect opening day in KC history, even for a crusty old cynic like me. Before the game in a clubhouse ceremony, Mike Sweeney was anointed the official "Captain" of the Royals, the first such player to be honored since George Brett and Frank White co-captained the Royals back in the glory days. In the game, we saw all this wonder stuff:

Sharp hitting by rookie DH Ken "Michelin Man" Harvey

Six innings of excellent starting pitching by young pup "Run-Elvis" Hernandez

Actual flame-throwing 99 mile an hour relief pitching by Rookie Mike MacDougal

Hustling, sweet fielding shortstop play by rookie Angel Berroa

No sign of Neifi Perez anywhere.

Hot tub in left field!

April 6th: End of week one. And what a great week! Royals have their best opening week in the history of the franchise, winning five straight before a Sunday rain out to end the week. On Saturday, Run-Elvis went 7 innings, only gave up two hits and K'ed three on his way to his second win of the week. KC starting pitching only gave up eight earned runs this week in over 30 innings. Not bad, especially considering one year ago the Royals got their puds pounded at home 16-zip by the Chisox. All the pitching has been good so far: starters, middle and closer. Hitting has been timely, opposition's mistakes have been capitalized, the team is winning. Who the HELL are these guys???
April 14th: What an amazing two weeks. The Royals are now 10-1 after kicking Cleveland's ASS in the Jake, taking three out of four from the Tribe after winning all their games in Detroit (after a snow-out). On Monday night Jeremy Affeldt got his second win (2-0) with a wonderfully effective outing. All this coming after 18 different Royals players -including MIke Sweeney- had a nasty bout with the Detroit flu, spoutin' from both ends like a yard sprinkler. BTW: Saw Neifi Perez play like crap for the Giants last night on an ESPN game. He's hitting .067. I hate you, Neifi.
April 21st: The Royals start the week by dropping their first series on the road, losing two straight to the greasy White Sox, who's fans have mastered the art of game disruption; drinking to way beyond blotto, hopping on the field and tackling the nearest available umpire. At least this time they left poor Tom Gamboa alone! This year's featured Drunksox is tattooed 24 year old pinhead Eric Dybas, who admitted to drinking twelve 16-ounce beers during the course of the day. I'm sure he spends lots of Mondays doing that. Dybas will have plenty of time to sober up as he's being held on felony assault charges and $250,000 bail in the Cook County Jail. Meanwhile, a buzz is building about this team, and people are showing actual interest in Royals baseball again. 39-thousand plus showed up for a Friday night thriller with the Detroit Kittens. Royals management said 11,000 were "walk-ups," popping in right before game time. Everyone went home happy as Michelin Man Ken Harvey stroked a game winning dinger in the 11th to win it. On Saturday the Royals pummeled the Kittens 9 to 2. Only downer was starter Jeremy Affeldt developed another blood blister on his pitching hand middle finger and was placed on the 15-day DL to recover. The Royals swept the pathetic Tiger Kitties (now standing at a God-awful 1-16) , extending their home unbeaten streak to eight games, best in the majors. Carlos Beltran returned to the starting lineup after completing his injury rehab assignment in Wichita. In typical Beltran style he started the season 0 for 10 against the worst team in baseball. Mr. Garbage Time won't start to smoke the ball till the Royals are twenty games out. We'll see if the boys in blue are for real in the next week, as they play Minnesota and Boston, two legit contenders in the American League.
April 26th: The Royals end this week with their first taste of real adversity; pulling a classic 2002 Royals stunt by blowing a 9-3 lead in Toronto, losing 10 to 9. Lopez, Bukvitch and MacDougal combine for the first major hairball spit up by the Royals bullpen, costing Run-Elvis Hernandez his fifth win of the year. Bet he'll be begging to go the distance from now on! Royals end up going 4-2 for the week with one rain out at home against the Twinkies. KC also got the honor of being the first major league team to visit "germtown," as Toronto has been made a danger zone by the World Health Organization for having the SARS virus swimming around the gene pool. The Royals responded to the situation by boarding themselves up in the hotel and trying to keep as far away from the locals as humanly possible.This picture of Michael Tucker was in the KC Star after Friday Night's game. Michael is within sneezing distance of the crowd, and looks like he just saw a klansman! Now it's on to Boston to try and shake off the first "Suck Like a Hoover" day of the year.
May 4th: The carriage turned back into a pumpkin this week as the Royals drop four in a row, including being swept by the Bosox. The Royals did end the road trip with a 4-0 shutout in Baltimore. The Boys in Blue remain in first because the rest of the AL Central has been sucking pond water: Chicago is at .500, Twinkies at .483, Cleveland at .276 and Detroit at .107. The Good News: Three Royals starters are hitting over .300: Randa, Ibanez and Mayne. Mike MacDougal (despite blowing his last two save opportunities) leads the AL with 10 saves. Run-Elvis Hernandez is 4-0 with a sparkling 1.74 ERA. KC is 6th in AL team batting with a .274 average, 4th in team pitching with an ERA of 3.64. The Bad News: Carlos Beltran is still missing in action. This week he was scratched from the Baltimore series because of a sore right shoulder. So far he's only played in 12 of KC's 28 games and is batting an anemic .196. The only other Royal with an average below the Mendoza line is light hitting Mendy Lopez. Ryan Bukvich has been sucking it in the bullpen with a bloated 8.64 ERA. Back home, Comcast Cable continues to screw their subscribers (including yours truly) out of watching Royals games. They have over 100,000 subscribers in suburban KC, and still haven't worked out a deal with the new Royals Sports Television Network to carry road games. It galls me that I live ten minutes from the ballpark, but can't watch Royals road games on cable TV. What a bunch of crap!
May 19th: Suck-O-Rama week. Royals go up to the Humphreydome to battle the Twinks with first place on the line, battle tough, then come home and wet themselves by blowing a 3-game home stand to Germtown, getting out-scored 29 to 8 in three games. They've now lost 15 of their last 23 games, winding up in second place for the first time in 48 days. The dream....is over. The Good News: Not much to talk about here. Desi Relaford is showing he deserves to play every day, starting in the last 17 straight games and playing 2nd, 3rd, short, right field and DH since the season began; all the while hitting above .300. Carlos Beltran has started to come around, hitting for a little power, but not hitting in the clutch. Ken Harvey has been brilliant in clutch situations, but can't do much when the team loses 18 to 1. Sort of good news: Albie "lettin' some runs score" Lopez or Albie "Pez" (dispenses runs like candy) went on the DL with a pulled groin. Not sure who pulled it for him, but it was probably Allard Baird. Pez allowed 19 runs and 24 hits in his last 8.5 innings, and has an ERA of 9.90. DJ Carrasco has been the most consistent reliever, as Jason Grimsley is starting to show signs of burn out, and we're not even into June yet. The Bad News: Plenty. Joe Randa is slumping, now hitting below .230. No Royal player leads in any AL offensive categories except Sweeney, who is tied for third with 25 walks. Lead off hitter MIchael Tucker has Mark Quinn disease, never walking...ever. He is very good at watching called third strikes whiz by. Defense has been awful. Bullpen, awful. Managing decisions...awful. And with a West Coast roadie next with Seattle and Oakland, it could get worse real fast.
May 27th: The old Royals finally showed up, losing 10 of their last 13 games and falling 3 1/2 games behind the Twinks. No Royal starter is hitting over .300. Starting pitching has been decent, especially since two starters -Run Elvis and Ball 16- have both been out with arm and elbow trouble.The team batting slump has led to the inevitable slip slide back towards .500 and mediocrity. The Good News: Not much. Raul Ibanez had two homers in a losing effort in Seattle, punishing his old team. Last year's number one draft pick Zack Greinke is 7-0 at Class A Wilmington with a 1.02 ERA and 51 Ks in 53 innings. What the Hell man, bring him up and let him take his shot! The Bad News: Plenty. A major choke job by winless Darrell "Charlie Brown" May in Oakland. One out away from a complete game 3-1 win, "Chucko" gives up a double to Miguel Tejada. Then on an 0-2 pitch to the next Oakland batter Durazo, he hangs a slider, gives up a two run tater and the Royals go on to lose 4-3 in the 10th. Typical 2002-style 100-game losing team major hairball choke job. How bout managing? Tony "Chico Esquela" Peña moves Desi Relaford to lead off, who proceeds to go zip for nine in that slot. Pitching? They say Albie Lopez groin is almost healed. Oh good. With a ERA at 10.00, can somebody PLEASE pull it again? The Royals came back to the K to kick off a home stand to try to catch the Twinks, then open by getting their ass handed to them 15 to 7 by Seattle. Seattle had 20 hits and led 11-0 after the third inning. These guys are playing like they expect to go out and lose. What's worse, nobody seems too terribly upset about it either, especially the veterans. I'm talking about YOU Michael Tucker...YOU Joe Randa...YOU Brent Mayne. Where ARE you, Captain Sweeney? Here's what Carlos Beltran is doing right now..."Ring Ring....Hello, Scott Boras? Scott....GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!!!" The Neifi Watch: 2002 Royals clubhouse cancer and general poop stain Neifi Perez is hitting .289 with the SF Giants . Sounds good, but in 128 ABs he's only walked five times, has two stolen bases and been caught twice. His OBP is .313, which is very weak. His true colors will show up before the All Star Break.
June 2nd: Royals wrapped a particularly putrid 1-5 home stand this week, getting swept by Seattle and almost getting swept by the A's. "Charlie Brown" Darrell May must rub off on his relievers, because in Saturday's game Mike "Nuke" MacDougal took over in the ninth for May and gave up a three run gopher ball with two outs and two strikes to again lose to the A's...just like what happened five days earlier in Oakland. This time Oakland Outfielder Eric Burns provided the dagger in the heart. The only reason the Royals aren't sucking dust is because the Twinks has a horrific home stand this week too, also getting swept by the Mariners. Another brilliant giveaway by the Royals Marketing Weasels on Saturday, as it was "George Brett Babushka Doll" Day, with little nesting dolls of George Brett in different KC Uniforms. Cool trinket, but "Babushka" in Russian means "Grandmother" or "Scarf." If you go down deep enough the final Babushka is a little tiny hemorrhoid! The Good News: Mike Sweeney leads the AL with getting on base via hit or walk in 33 straight games. Joe Randa's been playing great defense at third with 62 straight games without an error, and has been showing signs of coming out of his hitting slump. Carlos "Call my Agent" Beltran has been hitting more like he should for the bucks he sucks down. Here's something he's really perfected: Beltran has stolen 89 bases out of his last 98 attempts for a 91% success rate. So he's a pretty good thief.The Bad News: The Royals lead the AL in errors. Angel Berroa's two errors on Saturday were costly, especially booting a sure double play ball that allowed the aforementioned Mr. Burns to reach the plate and pee on the Royals' collective ninth inning Wheaties. What's next? Now away we go into inter-league play at .500, probably not to see the rarefied air above .500 again this year....God I hope I'm wrong. First stop, one of the hottest teams in the National League, the LA Dodgers. The Neifi Watch: In just two short weeks the SF Giants come to The K. If Neifi is still on the Giants' roster, his triumphant return to KC will be Friday the 13th! I declare Friday June 13th WE HATE NEIFI DAY in KC! Come to the park early, and bring lots of raspberries!
June 15th: The boys have been barely holding their heads above the .500 line, playing road and home series against the NL West. Lost 2 of 3 to the Dodgers in LA, won 2 of 3 from the Rockies in Colorado, split with Arizona (with a rain out) and won two of three from San Fran at the K. Record after all that is one game over .500 (33 and 32) and 4 back of the Twinkies, who come in tomorrow night for a crucial four game set, as we make up an April rain out on Monday night.
The Good News: Three Royals are batting over .300: Sweeney at .315 (with a .435 OBP), Beltran at .304 and career minor leaguer Aaron Guiel (just happy to be here, hope I can help the ball club) hitting .348. Guiel started off hot last year too, but wound up hitting only .233 with 61 K's in 70 games. Joe Randa still without an error at third base this season. His average is up to .252, about 25 points lower than where it should be. The Royals drew over 99,000 fans for the three games against the Giants. Barry Bonds luckily only hit one homer, and it didn't affect the outcome of the game. Good job pitching staff! Royals picked up former Houston Astros All Star Pitcher José "Lima Time" Lima, and he went six innings against the Giants today. He didn't get the win, but pitched pretty well. Hopefully Lima will re-gain his old form.
The Bad News: Michael Tucker mega-sucks. He loafs in the outfield, fails to move runners, and strikes out looking all the time. He was the guy who was supposed to supply the spark in the lead off position for 2003. He's hitting .250 with a weak .319 OBP, and worse, has only 23 walks while whiffing 55 times. This week Desi Relaford was christened the new permanent Royals lead off man. Angel Berroa has 17 errors at short, but has 7 home runs, three more than starting catcher Brent Mayne. The team needs more power from the catcher position than that. Michelin Man Ken Harvey is fading fast, and may end up watching Fourth of July fireworks in Omaha. Average is down to .222, OBP is a lousy .281, and he's whiffed almost 4 times more than he's walked. In today's game against SF, he got picked off first in the 8th inning, as he represented the tying run. You just can't do that. Luckily, the Royals mustered a comeback in the bottom of the ninth to overcome his base running blunder. I can't figure out Darrell "Charlie Brown" May. He leads the team with 71.2 innings pitched, leads in strikeouts with 43, and has only given up 21walks. But he's 0-3 for the season. Two of those games were the Oakland home run disaster games in May. Hopefully "Chucko" will get a win one of these days. Aftermath Of The Neifi Watch: Neifi came back to town on Friday the 13th (how appropriate) and got roundly booed by the locals. He then smacked a double in his first at bat. The Giants must have been shocked, as the Neifster only has 12 total extra base hits this year. He's hitting .280 which sounds decent, but when you look at the other stats - .305 OBP, 6 walks, 13 K's, only 2 stolen bases, it's the same old Neifi.
June 26th: A great week on the road as the Royals take 2 of 3 from the Redbirds in "God's Ashtray" (Busch Stadium) and sweep the Tribe at the Jake. The boys in blue have won 10 of last 13, record against the AL Central is 24-6, the best division record in baseball. Royals climb back into first place by one game over the Twinkies, the deepest into the season the Royals have been in first in ten years. The Good News: LIMA TIME!! Props to Allard Baird for scraping Jose Lima off the dung heap. He was pitching for the Newark Bears in the Independent Atlantic League. Lima goes 2-0 with wins over St. Louis and Cleveland, two teams he had never beaten before in his career with Houston or Detroit. Guys up and down the lineup are warming up: Beltran is pushing .300, Aaron Guiel is batting .292 and pushing Michael Tucker for playing time; Desi Relaford is hitting .290 in the lead-off spot; and most surprisingly, rookie shortstop Angel Berroa is hitting .282 and has been playing much better defense of late. MacDougal is among AL leaders in saves, and has a decent shot at making the All-Star team. Best news of all: Royals say "Albie Seein' Ya" to Albie "The Pez Dispenser" Lopez. He came, he pitched, he sucked, he pulled his groin, he came back, he sucked even more. What more can you say? Have a nice life, Pez-Boy. The Bad News: Mike Sweeney is on the DL with a pinched nerve in the middle of his upper back. My pal Gary and I saw the injury happen at the "K" a couple weeks ago against the Twinkies . Sweeney swung at a third strike; tried to pull back the swing, threw the bat, and that's when he tweaked his back. After the pitch, he walked out to first to play defense and kept shaking his arms and shoulders. Sweeney was hitting .321 when he went on the DL, and should be back on July 6th. Joe Randa's hitting .251, and may be nicked up and playing hurt. Hopefully he'll get his average back up around .300. His defense has been fabulous, and if he keeps it up, should win a Gold Glove at third. Next up: Re-match with Redbirds for 3 games at the "K.' Darrell "Chuck Brown" May starts Friday night's game. Hopefully he'll actually WIN a game this season.
July 13th: It's been awhile since I made an entry with much personal family stuff going on over the past couple weeks. So much to talk about as we reach the All-Star Break. Royals go into the break seven games up on the greasy Chisox and are the only team in the division with a winning record. Royals end the first half by sweeping Texas on the road for the first time since 1980. Twinks fall behind White Sox today into third place. Its amazing that the Royals have done all this with two of their best position players hurt (Sweeney and Randa) and missing three of their starters (Hernandez, Snyder and Ascensio)for a good part of the first half. The Good News: Lima Time, Baby...believe it! Jose Lima is 5 and 0, and the Royals have won each of his six starts since joining the team. Darrell "Chuck Brown" May has leveled his record at 4 and 4, pitching very well in July.Mike MacDougal makes the All -Star team with 24 saves and a 2.66 ERA. Curtis Leskanic has been added in a trade with Milwaukee to shore up the "Pez Dispenser"debacle.On offense, everybody has contributed. Beltran has been hot and cold at the plate, but great on defense, especially cutting down guys trying to score. Ibanez has been a steady, solid everyday player. Aaron Guiel has been doing a great job in the leadoff position, taking counts deep, hitting with power and hitting in the clutch. Michael Tucker has improved to .274, and Angel Berroa has cut down on his errors, is hitting .283 and has 9 homers, more than both Royals catchers combined. Perhaps the most amazing part of this run has been the play of Ken Harvey and Desi Relaford filling in for Mike Sweeney and Joe Randa. Even with all the sacrafice bunts and tinkering around with the leadoff position, Tony Pena should be AL Manager of the Year based solely on the first half of the season.The Bad News: The Royals pitcher with the most wins in the first half was Chris George (9-6). He won a free trip to Omaha based on his 7.11 ERA. Jeremy Affeldt needs to step it up if he wants to be seen in the same class as Run-Elvis Hernandez. He's 5-5 and has been incredibly inconsistent in his starts. "Ball 16" Ascensio may not make it back in the starting rotation if Lima continues pitching as he has in the first half. Brent Mayne is the worst offensive starting catcher in the American League with only 4 home runs. When the break is over, hopefully Mike Sweeney's neck/back injury and Randa's pulled ribcage will be healed. Their offense and leadership will be needed to continue the drive to win the AL Central. What About Neifi? The Neifster is hitting .286 with the SF Giants. In 68 games Neifi has only 15 extra base hits.All-Star Stuff: Sweeney and MacDougal are Royals representatives in the All-Star Game. Sweeney won't play because of injury. This year's game is to be played in South Chicago at "The Cell," a very appropriate name for the greasy Chisox home park and meth lab. It's been 1973 since the last KC All Star Game. I'd say the "K" is due! Hopefully Bud "The Tool" Selig will allow one of the teams to win this year. Hey, last year the game ended in a "tie." What a bunch of crapola!!
July 27th: The dog days of summer have begun. It's hard to believe but the Royals are STILL in first place, leading the AL Central by 4 games over the greasy Chisox and by 6.5 games over the Twinkies. Staying in the lead has been precarious. Basically the team has played about .500 baseball since the All-Star break, and every night they lose, the Chisox and Twinkies seem to lose too. The Good News: It's still LIMA TIME! After pulling a groin and missing a start, Jose Lima returns to Detroit, beats his old team for the second time this year, shutting out the Tiger Kittens for five innings. Lima is 7-0 for the Royals after being pulled up out of the baseball dustbin called the "Newark Bears" of the Independent League. Jeremy Affeldt has been moved out of the rotation to the bullpen to be a left-handed stopper, something the Royals haven't had in many years. Affeldt has a nasty habit of developing blisters on his pitching hand after about five innings of work as a starter, so the idea is to cure that problem by specializing as a closer. Curtis Leskanic continues to impress in set up duty, another good move by GM Allard Baird. On offense, the Royals have been up and down, but have performed pretty well considering the injury list. Sweeney hasn't played at all in July. Ibanez missed the Detroit series with a nasty cyst on his leg, and Randa just returned to the line-up after being on the DL for 15 days with a pulled rib case muscle. Aaron Guile has been excellent as a leadoff man, getting on base and hitting for power and hitting in the clutch. Angel Berroa continues to blossom as a great young shortstop, going 36 games without an error and hitting for power with 13 dingers. He's a legit candidate for AL rookie of the year (although the press will vote for Matsui because he's a Yankee.) Ken Harvey continues to play excellent defense at first, and will make it hard to put Sweeny's shaky defense back on the diamond when he's ready to go. The Bad News: Royals All-Star Closer Mike "Mac the Ninth" MacDougal has been sucking pond water. Mac blew two save opportunities, including giving up a game blowing grand slam homer to Seattle's Ichiro Suzuki ON MY BIRTHDAY (Thanks, you big red headed skate punk). Mac can't seem to find home plate, and his wildness could be a real problem down the stretch run. He might even win a free trip to Omaha for some tune-up work if his problems continue. He did pitch OK in a mop up role today in Lima's 7th win, but it was against Detroit, so who can tell if he's really back on track? Mac's not the only reliever who can't find home plate. In a game against Oakland, Grimsley, Lowe and Field combined to walk five guys in a row in blowing a 9th inning lead. Grimsley and the local media wanks all insinuated the umps have no respect for the Royals, being a long time "loser" team. Maybe they're right. I wouldn't put it past Bud "The Tool" Selig (seen here participating in the Milwaukee Brewers sausage race) to send a directive to the AL umps to job the Royals so they don't hurt the fall TV ratings. I'm sure Budster would much rather see a major market team in the playoffs....like, oh, maybe...CHICAGO??? On offense, the rash of injuries has continued. Major props to Desi Relaford, Ken Harvey and Aaron Guile for stepping up to plug holes and keep the team treading water. Carlos Febles continues to struggle at the plate, hitting an anemic .236 with no homers. Brett Mayne is almost as bad with only 10 doubles and 4 homers all year. With Febles and Mayne hitting eight and nine in the lineup, it's like having two guaranteed outs at the bottom of the order. Febles will certainly ride the pine when Randa goes back to full time duty at third base and Relaford moves to second. Mayne just needs to hit for more power. He's striking out too much and not walking enough. He has 31 K's and only 19 walks. The Neifi Watch: Neifi's hitting .276 for the Giants with 11 doubles and zippo homers. He's K'ed twice as much as he's walked. Thank God for Angel Berroa.
August 6th: The Royals had a rough week losing 5 of 6 head to head meetings with the greasy Chisox. The Sox pummeled the Royals at the "K" sweeping the three game series, then won two out of three close games at "The Cell." The White Sox bitch slapping of the Royals was summed up in today's afternoon rubber game (won by the Sox 4-3). Sox starter Bartolo Colon nailed Royals lead off man Aaron Guile to start the game, then picked him off first. What an insult. Nail the guy, then pick him off. What's more, in the six games the Sox out-homered the Royals 19 to 3. The silver lining: despite getting punked, the Royals left the South Side of Chicago for Tampa Bay, still in first place by one game. The Good News: The Royals may have found enough starting pitching to overcome the MASH-like rash of injuries by bringing up rookie Jimmy Gobble and signing Kevin (Apeman) Appier. Gobble made his major league debut by beating Tampa Bay, throwing six innings of shutout ball. Apeman started his career in KC, and was waived recently by Anaheim. The Royals are betting Ape can still pitch. Best of all, the Royals will only have to pay a small portion of his bloated salary as the Angels are on the hook for the lion's share. On offense, props to Dee Brown, who had four hits in the Royals only win against the Chisox at The Cell. Brown was a last minute starter, as Captain Sweeney couldn't make his return to the lineup as DH. A pinched disc continues to sideline MIkey. Angel Berroa continues to play great defense and keeps hitting like a mother. He should be American League Rookie of the Year, but he'll get hosed by the Yankee Nipper. The Bad News: Just about everybody who matters is hurt or is just coming off being hurt. Here's the body count - Hurt: Sweeney (missed the last 45 games...that REALLY hurts), Tucker, Snyder, Ascensio, Lima, Mayne. Recently hurt and not at full strength: Affeldt, Randa, Ibanez, Relaford. Realistically, the boys in blue are in pretty damn good shape, all things considered. It's August, and the Royals are in first place in a legitimate, exciting race for the Central Division Crown. Their schedule is favorable compared to the Sox and Twins down the stretch run, so stay tuned!
August 17th: Another wild and crazy dog day August week, starting with the Evil Yankees and ending with steamy Twinkies. The Royals win a series from the Yanks at Kauffman Stadium for the first time in ten years. The Yanks had swept the Royals at the "K" two years previous. The boys in blue won a slugfest the first game, with both teams setting an American League record for doubles -19 total- in a single game. In the second game, Mussina and Rivera shut the Royals out 6-zip. Then for the rubber match, Kevin Appier made his KC homecoming debut, shutting out the Yanks for six innings as the Royals went on to crush the Yanks 11-0. Then the Twinks came in for the weekend and turned up the heat...literally...winning two of three in 100-plus degree weather. The Royals were able to salvage the final game of the series with Darrell "Chuck Brown" May getting an important victory to push the Royals lead out to three games over the Twinkies, and 2 1/2 games over the greasy Chisox who have lost four straight including three to Texas. The Good News: Carlos Beltran came back after sitting out the Yankee series and has been on fire. He leads the Royals in HRs (20), RBI (74) and SB (30). He's second in average (.298) to Sweeney's .318. Angel Berroa remains hot, batting .291 with 15 homers and 59 RBIs, not bad for a rookie shortstop that everyone thought would hit .225 this year. Back-up Catcher Mike DiFelice put the pressure on Brett Mayne, getting two decisive doubles to help win the first Yankees game. Mayne came back in the third game to break an 0 for 18 stretch and went 4 for 4 in the Royals 11-0 rout. On the pitching side, Appier has gone 1 and 1 since re-joining the Royals, and Lima should be back in the rotation next week. Affeldt has shown flashes of brilliance as a left handed stopper out of the bullpen. The Bad News: The Royals finally gave up on Carlos Febles and cut him loose. Desi Relaford flat out-played Carlos, and will be the Royals second baseman of the future...if the rest of the lineup can manage to stay healthy enough to leave him there. Meanwhile, the other half of "Dos Carlos, " Carlos Beltran, has had a sore elbow, leg, and body in general. Beltran missed all the Yankees games and two of the three Twins games. Randa is still beat up, as well as Ken Harvey and Mike Sweeney. Each is iffy and day to day. Michael "Mr Happy" Tucker is probably done for the year with a leg fracture from a foul ball. Meanwhile, on the pitching side, things have been rough. So rough that Royals opening day starter Runelvys Hernandez was sent down to Double-A Wichita to work out the bugs. In his last start against the Twinks Saturday he gave up 9 runs in 3 1/3 innings, inflating his ERA to 4.61. Hopefully he can get it back together by September, or Miguel "Ball 16" Ascensio might take his spot in the rotation for the rest of the year. Jimmy Gobble took his first big league loss against the Twins on Friday. His previous two wins were against Tampa Bay. Do those even count?? Mike "Wild Thing" MacDougal continues to stink it up. He's been horrendous since the All Star Game, forcing the Royals to back him up with Curtis Leskanic and Jeremy Affeldt. MacDougal currently can't be trusted to finish out a tight game, and he's only been getting to close games out with a three run or more lead. The Neifi Watch: Neifi's Giants are still in first place in the NL West, despite Neifi's best efforts to the contrary. In 93 games the Neifster's hitting .256 with a wretched .286 OBP, has only 18 extra base hits all year, no homers, stolen 3 bases, been caught twice; walked 12 times, "K"ed 18 times. Yeech. Royals now go on the road to Yankee Stadium for three, then to the Twinkie Dome for a big four game set against the Twinkies. Another big week, but the boys are hangin' tough. Stay tuned!
September 1st: The Royals seem to be running out of gas. Three more starters bit the big one over the last two weeks, and the timely hitting that has been the team's saving grace seems to have been washed away - like the string of brutal 100 degree weather days we've endured the past two weeks. After sweeping Texas at home, the Royals welcomed the Angels to Kauffman. The boys in blue proceeded to cough up a very wet fur ball. After a miserable 9 to 1 Friday night beating that got Jimmy Gobble bounced back to Omaha, it rained nonstop -8 inches in two days-breaking a two month drought and the brutal heat wave. The Royals proceeded to wet themselves, dropped two of the three scheduled games with Anaheim, with the final game being rained out. Then they flew to Texas for a Monday afternoon game on Labor Day and got beat by the lowly Rangers 7 to 3. That landed them two games off the pace behind the greasy Chisox, who had the day off. The Good News: Going into September, the Royals are just two games off the lead, which would have been inconceivable when the season started. Major props to Allard Baird for sticking fingers in the dike with every leak. In the past two weeks he traded for two replacement starting pitchers: Paul Abbot from Arizona and Brian Anderson from Cleveland- and traded for another outfield bat -Rondell White from San Diego- giving up nothing but second or third tier prospects in the process. Anderson won his first game in a Royals uniform, and White has already contributed at the plate , driving in multiple runs in his first game as a Royal in a win over Texas. Three Royal regulars are above or near .300: Ibanez at .298, Beltran at .302 and Sweeney at .314. Berroa continues to play way above expectations, hitting .288 with 15 homers. Ken Harvey finally broke out of his power outage, hitting two homers in a loss on Labor Day to Texas. The Bad News: Baird is running out of fingers to plug into the dike. In the past two weeks, the Royals have lost starting pitchers Appier, Snyder and Hernandez to injuries for the year, and Jose Lima is back on the 15-day DL with a pulled groin. The only pitcher left from the April rotation is Darrell May, who pitched like crap against Texas on Labor Day. He now has an unimpressive 8 and 7 record. Jimmy Gobble won his first two major league starts against Tampa Bay. He figured Tampa Bay was a major league team. Uh...WRONG! He soon found out as he lost his next three straight to the Yankees, Twins and Angels, seeing his ERA balloon to 6.66. That won a free bus ride to Omaha on August 30th. "Reliever" (and I use the term loosely here) Graeme Lloyd could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. Since coming to the Royals he's appeared in 13 games, pitched 9 2/3 innings, given up 22 hits, has an 0 and 2 record with no saves and a 11.17 ERA. Is he the post all-star break's version of Albie "The Pez Dispenser" Lopez? Me thinks so!! I can't understand why Peña keeps starting Brent Mayne over Mike DiFelice. Mayne is useless. During the past week he had an 0 for 16 stretch before boinking a couple of hits in a loss to Anaheim. He can't situationally hit, never moves a runner or gets a sacrifice fly. And with a .246 average and only 5 homers in over 300 plate appearances, he's just too weak to fill the catcher position where you need some power production. DiFelice doesn't hit for much better average at .256, but he has one more double than Mayne in less than 170 ABs and seems to have more productive outs by moving runners. He's also a much better hitter with men in scoring position. The Neifi Watch: Neifi keeps slithering along at .260 with the SF Giants. In 300 ABs, The Neifster has 78 hits, only 21 for extra bases, no homers, 28 RBIs, only 12 walks with 23 Ks and a dismal .287 on base percentage. One side note: The Royals announced they're switching flagship broadcast stations in 2004 from KMBZ 980 AM -owned by conglommo Entercom- to WHB 810 AM -owned by local guys Union Broadcasting. The main reason for the change (I think) is because KMBZ is hard to hear, period. Their AM signal is woefully weak. In the daytime I can't pick them up in the metal and concrete building where I work, and I work about five miles from the ballpark. At night their signal is so weak they fade in and out inside the KC Metro area, and vaporize about ten miles outside of town. On the other hand, WHB is a 50,000 watt daytime blowtorch. For years, the 810 frequency was the famous old KCMO Radio, and in the daytime it can be heard loud and clear for literally thousands of miles, from Central Texas to Canada. At night, WHB cuts their AM power to 5,000 watts, but Union promises to simulcast on one of their local FM stations to help the city's night reception. Good move! KMBZ has also employed an endless stream of kiss-up corporate yes men and spin meisters on their pre-game and post game show. The most notorious ones (in my humble opinion) have been Don Fortune and Al Fitzmorris. Entercom whacked Fitz after last year's 100 game losing season in a cost cutting move. I guess they figured one "information minister" on the payroll was enough. Fortune will probably be forced into retirement when Union takes over. At least "Mr. Peepers" will get to go out after a decent year, having endured so many of the Royals utterly stinky seasons. From the "strictly business" perspective, Union Broadcasting has two former Royal players as part of their ownership group -Brian McRae and Jeff Montgomery- and George Brett is on the Union payroll as a part time "host" of a mid morning local talk show. You can certainly say Union knows how to stack the deck. I just hope WHB doesn't lose their edge and objectivity about telling it like it is, now that they've become the fat cat on the block. It'll be interesting to see what "The Voice of the Royals" Denny Matthews does with the change of ownership groups.Will he stay or will he go? We'll see next year.
September 15th: Its down the stretch time, kiddies. The Boys in Blue are hangin' in there like a Mexican Welterweight. Three games out of first with thirteen left to play. The Royals went into the All Star Break leading the AL Central by 7 games. Since the break they've posted a very mediocre 26-31 record and have dropped their pace by ten games. Luckily their remaining games are all against Cleveland and Detroit (who both stink) and against Chicago, who are currently tied for the AL Central lead with the Twinkies. The Twinkies could be the real problem, as the Royals have no more head to head games left with them. No Good News Bad News report this week, we'll save that for the end of season rundown. But here's a couple tidbits to chew on. Let's look at KC's "All Stars." Mike "Wild Thing" MacDougal had 24 saves at the All Star Break. He's had only four more since. Mike "Captain" Sweeney has not helped the team down the stretch much. The Royals have lost more games with Sweeney in the lineup than when he was hurt. Because of his neck and back injury, he's only been able to DH, which makes his dollar value much less to the Royals. Since they're getting less bang for the buck, Allard Baird probably wishes he could transfer some Sweeney bucks over on the ledger to help keep Carlos Beltran around for a few more years. Current Royals starting rotation is May, Gobble, Anderson, Abbot and Voyles. Lima and Ascensio may be back next week to help. If the Royals were in the AL East or West, they'd be about 15 games out of first place now. Thank God for the crappy AL Central! Stay tuned.
October 1st: Well, the dream is over. The boys in blue finish 83-79, 7 games back of the Twinks and 3 games back of the greasy Chisox for third place. Good news is its the best record in almost ten years, as the team went 64-51 in the strike shortened season of 1994. Looking back, it really was a great season. But it does leave an empty feeling to know these guys were up by 7 games at the All Star Break and finished 7 games back at the end. Why? Injuries to starting pitching mainly. How many teams could lose four of their five opening day starters --with the number five guy the only one left- and still contend? Nobody can do that.
Here's the year end grades on the Royals as I see it, starting with the position players who mattered:
Captain Mike Sweeney, 1B/DH, C: Just like the newly emblazoned letter on his captain's jersey, Mikey deserves a C. It was a very mediocre year for Mikey due to injury, tweaking a nerve in his neck before the All-Star Break. After that, he was never the same playing in only 107 games and finishing at .295 with 16 homers and 18 doubles. That sucks for an $11 million dollar man who can't play in the field. If the team gets normal Sweeney production, Royals probably win the AL Central. Ken Harvey, 1B, C: Good news is Harvey unexpectedly got 134 games in the bigs this year, and a lot of experience playing in the field. Harvey had lots of ugly collisions and muffed plays at first, but also showed surprisingly good range and soft hands at times. Harvey was awesome in April and May, but as the season wore on and Harvey wore down his power numbers and clutch hitting disappeared, especially after the All-Star Break, finishing at .268 and 13 HRs. Now that he's been through the grind of a full season, he'll know what to expect next year. He needs to come into spring training in better shape and cut down on the "K's"-he had 93 this year. Desi Relaford, 2B, B-: Before the break Relaford was team MVP filling in literally all over the diamond as guys went down with injuries. Relaford played everywhere except pitcher and catcher. He played most of the year hurt, unable to hit left handed for half the year because of a wrist injury. After the break, his hitting tailed off and his defense at second base deteriorated. Relaford ended up at .255, and if he comes back healthy next year, could be a valuable keystone combo with Berroa. Angel Berroa, SS, A: The kid was amazing. The Royals were only expecting him to hit around .235, steal a few bases and learn how to be a major league shortstop. Berroa kicked ass, hitting for average (.288), power (28 doubles & 17 HRs) and hitting all over the lineup, finishing the year as the Royals lead off hitter. After a rocky first couple of months defensively, went for weeks without committing an error, showing spectacular range and a cannon for an arm. This guy is going to be very very good, can't wait to watch him again next year. Best of all, HE"S NOT NEIFI! Joe Randa, 3B, B: Randa had a solid veteran major league season, hitting .291 with 16 HRs, and he led the AL in fielding percentage for a third baseman. The down side was missing more than 30 games with various muscle pulls and other injuries. Although his fielding percentage was excellent, that stat doesn't show the balls he didn't get to because of age-limited range. Randa is pushing into his mid-30's now and will be a free agent in the off season. Not sure if the Royals will want to invest the big bucks to keep Randa around a few more years. He's never hit for big power numbers. They might put Relaford at third and try to find another second baseman somewhere. Raul Ibanez, LF, A-: Another solid veteran major leaguer who showed up and sucked it up all year long. Ibanez played in 156 games, hit .295 with 179 hits. Ibanez is also a free agent and the Royals should sew this guy up for a three or four year contract. He's a good defensive outfielder, decent arm, good guy in the clubhouse and a valuable piece of the overall puzzle. Carlos Beltran, CF, B: Carlos...the enigma. Everyone raves about Carlos being a five-tool player, can't miss future star, yadda yadda yadda. All that is probably true. Beltran made a couple of unbelievable outfield catches this year. He steals bases and is seldom caught. He's developing patience at the plate, hits for average, power and RBI's. But you know what? He's never been a guy who's won anything. Never been an All-Star, never won a batting title, never carried a team into the playoffs on his back. I will give Beltran credit that he played in 140 games. Half of those games after the All-Star Break were played with aching knees and a bum throwing shoulder. If Beltran can stay healthy, he could be the next Bonds or Clemente. The Royals have him under contract for one more year. Then his greedy-ass, baseball killing agent Scott "Show Me The Money" Boras shuffles Beltran off to the Bronx to replace fading Yankee CF Bernie Williams for 20 or 30 million. It'll be a sad day in Royals Land if that happens - or should I say WHEN that happens. Aaron Guiel, RF, B+: Guiel is a joy to watch. Basically a 30 year old rookie last year, he got his chance to play when Michael Tucker went down with a broken leg. Guiel hit .280, batting all over the lineup including the clean-up and lead-off spot. Has shown tremendous patience at the plate, especially tough with two strikes. Fights off pitches until he walks, sacrifices or gets a hit. Had 15 homers, many of them as crucial game winning hits. This guy is a gamer, better keep him around. Brent Mayne, C, D+: I've held a grudge with Mayne because he's such a weakling at the plate. You should get more than 6 home runs and 36 RBI's from your starting catcher if you want to contend. Mayne will most likely be cut loose by the Royals in 2004 as he's due a multi-million roster bonus if he makes the team next year. Mayne was solid behind the plate this year, handling the revolving door of starting pitchers admirably. Mayne was very good throwing out base stealers and blocking wild pitches, and was involved in several teeth rattling home plate collisions. The good defense doesn't quite offset the putrid offense, and the Royals MUST upgrade at this position to compete with players like Posada, Varitek and Pierzynski who play for contending teams. Bench: C: Guys who were positive contributors: Difelice, Lopez, White. Guys who were hurt and are on the bubble for next year: Tucker, Brown, Berger. Guys who are or will be toast: Matos, Prince, Febles.
Pitching: The Royals pitching staff injuries were of biblical proportion this year as the team used 29 different pitchers in one season. Of the five guys in the starting rotation, only Darrell May made it all the way through the year without serious injury.
Here's the year end grades for the Royals pitching staff: Darrell May, B: Should have had double digit wins, but Darrell "Charlie Brown" May had several tough luck losses before the All-Star Break. Ended up 10-8 with a 3.77 ERA and 197 innings pitched. That's respectable. Run-Elvis Hernandez, C-: Run-Elvis was the opening day starter, and was projected to be the stud of the rotation. He came out of the chute strong, but shredded his elbow and had Tommy John surgery. Probably won't be back to the bigs till 2005. Can you say Jose Rosado? Jose Lima, B+: One of baseball's great stories in 2003, Lima was pulled of the independent league dung heap, started out 7-0 before pulling a groin. Lima kept the team in the playoff hunt in July. Jimmy Gobble, C+: Rookie won his first two major league starts. That's the good news. Bad news was both games were against Tampa Bay, who's barely an actual major league team. Gobble wound up 4-5 and will have a chance to crack the starting rotation next year. Jason Grimsley, C: Grimsley pitched very well in the first half of the year as the bridge man. He also appeared in 75 games. That's about 20 more than what was prudent for a pitcher of his age. Grimsley was worn out in the second half and was totally useless in September, dropping to 2-6 with a 5.23 ERA.
DJ Carrasco, C: Used in a lot of mop up, pitched both well and poorly at times. Wound up pitching in 50 games. He's still young and got valuable seasoning this year. Mike MacDougal, C: Tale of two seasons. First half: dominating All-Star smoke throwing closer. Second half: Wild thing clueless rookie train wreck nightmare. "Mac the Ninth" ended up with 27 saves. He had 24 of those at the All-Star break. "Nuff said. Plus he gave up a game losing 9th inning grand slam to Ichiro Suzuki on my birthday. Thanks, shithead. Jeremy Affeldt, B: Was in the starting rotation at the beginning, but had nagging problems with blisters after pitching five or six innings. After the All-Star break was moved to the bullpen to close, especially after MacDougal imploded. Shows promise as either starter or closer, must get over the blister problem to ever become an effective starter. Guys who pitched well but were injured or came late in the season via trades: Leskanic (B), Appier (C), Anderson (B), Levine (C), Snyder (C-), Asencio (C+). Guys who were disappointing but may come back next year: Wilson (D+), Wright (D+), Abbot (D). Guys who totally suck and either are already gone or should be selling insurance next year: Albie "Pez Dispenser" Lopez (F-), Gilfillan (D), Buckvich (F), Field (D), Lowe (F), Walrond (F), DeHart (F), Lloyd (F-), Mullen (F-), Voyles (D-). Management & Coaching: Tony Peña did an amazing job for the hand he was dealt. Allard Baird made some very good moves down the stretch, especially bringing in Lima, Leskanic and Rondell White. he team was in the hunt till the final ten days of the season. Management and coaching staff get an A. Only weird thing was the team fired bullpen coach Tom Gamboa after the season. That's the poor guy who got sucker punched by William Ligue and son last year.. That's unfortunate, hope Tom has a nice retirement. All in all, the most fun season to follow since 1993. Can't wait for next year!

I'm Going To Take My Ball And Go Home!