King Carl: "LTGMIPS"
(LONGEST TENURED GM IN PROFESSIONAL SPORTS):
King Carl came to the Chiefs with Marty Shottenheimer in 1989, replacing the nightmarish Jack "Worlds of Chiefs" Steadman and Frank "Crash" Gansz regime. Carl ran the Philadelphia Stars in the old USFL, and also worked for the Philadelphia Eagles. He must have learned a lot in Philly, because King Carl conducts himself like a cross between Jimmy Hoffa and Tony Soprano. I have mixed feelings about Carl. He's done some bad; he's done some good; he's done a whole lot better than I thought he would; so why don't I treat him like I should? Carl has brought us great players like DT, Marcus Allen and Joe Montana. He's pulled diamonds from the rough like Dante Hall, Donnie Edwards and Brian Waters. He's bullied draft picks and their agents. He's systematically pounded season ticket holders with ticket price increases year after year. He's told the people of Kansas City that only season ticket holders are authentic "real" Chiefs fans. He's sustained a childish pissing contest with the local media through his mouthpiece "Rufus Dawes" on the official Chiefs Web site. He's been in charge more than seventeen years with no AFC Championships or Super Bowl appearances. Every other team in the AFC West has made it to the Super Bowl (including Seattle) since King Carl took over the reins. He's truly an enigma, a two headed monster. Two sides of a very twisted coin.
Here's a list of the King Carl Good Vs. King Carl Bad, and which side wins out:
1) Carl's Draft Record:
Good: Drafted Derrick Thomas as his first draft pick in 1989. Also drafted Tim Grunhard, Dave Szott, Dale Carter, Will Shields, Larry Johnson, John Tait, Greg Wesley, Donnie Edwards, Dante Hall, Derrick Johnson, Tony Gonzalez and Tamba Hali.
Bad: Drafted Percy Snow, Trezelle Jenkins, Harvey Williams, Greg Hill, Victor Riley, Sylvester Morris and Ryan Sims, all as first rounders. To be fair, Larry Johnson looked like a bad pick until 2005. All ranged from disastrous to lukewarm, except for Riley, who's a convict, and Morris, who (in fairness to King Carl), got hurt during his rookie year. Winner: King Carl's draft record is more bad than good with too many first round washouts. We won't even talk about second rounders like William "Crispy" Bartee, Junior Siavii or Mike Cloud.
2) Player Acquisitions through Free Agency or Trades:
Good: Mike Webster, Steve DeBerg, Dan Saleaumua, Barry Word, Joe Montana, Marcus Allen, Louie Aguiar, Joe Phillips, Rich Gannon, Mark Collins, James Hasty, Pete Stoyanovich, Kimball Anders, Willie Davis, Tony Richardson, Joe Horn, Shawn Barber, Priest Holmes, Willie Roaf, Trent Green, Patrick Surtain and Casey Wegman.
Bad: Brought in convicts, gold bricks and losers including Brock Middlebrook, Chester McGlocklin, Derrick Alexander, Carlton Gray, Cris Dishman, Lin Elliott, Daniel Pope, Dan Williams, Mark McMillan, Tamarick Vanover, Bam Morris, Steve Bono, Elvis Grbac, Ray Crockett, Glen Cadrez and Vonnie Holliday. Let good players go like Rich Gannon, Joe Horn, Neil Smith, Albert Lewis and Donnie Edwards. Winner: This is a close one, but I think Carl's acquisitions have done a little more good than bad. Very little more.
The best thing King Carl did is get the ship righted. The Chiefs were an NFL doormat until his arrival. That's about 16 years, folks, and the value of that task cannot be understated. The Chiefs had a great regular season track record in the 90's, and got one game away from the Super Bowl with Joe Montana in 1993. Carl's down side is twofold. First, he unflinchingly raises ticket and parking prices year after year after year after year after year.......after year. With ticket prices up to around $75 a game, season tickets are out of reach of the average working slob Chiefs fan. Secondly,King Carl has been infamous for his heavy handed management style. Many players, agents and other NFL GM's loathe him. King Carl has a reputation as a ruthless, penny pinching belligerent bully. King Carl's most famous confrontation was in the final contract negotiations with first round pick John Tait and his agent Ethan Locke. Carl brought them in to sign the final contract agreement, as Tait was one of the last NFL first round hold outs who was unsigned before 1999 training camp. King Carl told Tait (a seriously devout Mormon from BYU) to SIT THE F*#K DOWN AND SHUT THE F*$K UP during the negotiations. Of course, this went over real big with Tait. He got up and left Arrowhead with his agent and vowed to sit out the 1999 season so he could re-enter the draft in 2000. Tait's agent Ethan Locke said: "None of you guys would like to be treated like we were treated. He used the 'F' word four or five times when he was yelling at John and trying to intimidate him. John's a strong Mormon. After the second one, he stood up and said this is over. And you know what? We're going home tonight, and that's not a threat. It's unfortunate for John and the Chiefs and the fans. It takes a lot of nerve for a 24-year-old kid to say no to $4 million on principle." King Carl had to fly out to Arizona to beg forgiveness from Tait, Locke, and Tait's mom and dad. In 2004 when Tait had the opportunity to go free agent, he immediately bolted for the Chicago Bears and a $14 million bonus. In 1998, King Carl hatched a plan to out-Raider the Raiders, bringing in players who had talent, but were locker room cancers or outright criminals. The choice to bring in such players tarnished the Chiefs image, who have always been seen by the fans as the antithesis of the evil Raiders "Just Win Baby" philosophy and methodology. Under the guidance of Dick Vermeil, the Chiefs have cleaned up their locker room and gotten rid of all the crybabies, loafers and selfish players. Amazingly, the 2003 pre-season went down quietly and happily. First round pick Larry Johnson actually signed before camp opened, and Priest Holmes got the new contract he wanted before the home opener. Carl also gets kudos for his use of NFL Europe to develop players like Mike Maslowski and Dante Hall. He also is one of the few GMs to watch the arena leagues and the CFL to develop raw talent. Now that Granpa Dick is out, and Herm is in, King Carl may have a few more years to chase the ring.. Eventually he'll take his mega-bucks and shuffle off to retirement-ville.
King Carl has been wonderful making mega-bucks for Chiefs Owner Lamar Hunt. He's been brutal on the average Chiefs fan in terms of squeezing blood from the turnip. Tony Soprano would be proud of Carl's extortion racket. In 2004 King Carl raised ticket prices for the 14th time in 15 years as Chiefs GM. When Carl took over in 1988, the average Chiefs ticket cost $16.50. Now in 2004 the average ticket price is $67.16. That's more than a quadruple increase in 15 years. The only year tickets weren't increased was 1999 and 2005, because in 1998 and 2004 the Chiefs went 7-9, missed the playoffs and finished next to last in the AFC West. The increase from 2003 to 2004 was 15%, the highest one year jump in franchise history. That's not all, King Carl has been gouging on parking too, charging up to $24 to park in a reserved lot. Hell, the Chiefs don't even own those parking lots! The taxpayers of Jackson County own them and bear the cost to maintain them too! There's no doubt that like the rest of the NFL bigwigs, King Carl and Uncle Lamar are greedy bastards. Lamar Hunt is a multi-millionare. How much more money does he need, anyway? And there's no doubt that Chiefs fans are stupid, blindly loyal and incredibly gullible as season ticket renewal rates have only recently been affected by the obscene increases. In fact, leading up to the 2006 season the Chiefs are advertising to sell season tickets. I suppose I'm just as guilty. Its become a major struggle to come up with $2200 bucks for my 3 seats and parking pass. That's a lot of scratch for ten games, and two of those games don't even count (exhibition season). The Chiefs have not won a playoff game in fifteen years. It would be nice to get some bang for the bucks. Who knows how much tickets will cost if they ever actually win another playoff game or (God Forbid) another Super Bowl?
George Blowfish Pretends to Be King Carl:
I love to tweak Carl. Can't help it. For the past few years I've been a member of various Chiefs fan bulletin boards. These boards discuss virtually every move the Chiefs make, on and off the field. King Carl and his ghost written mouthpiece Rufus Dawes are often times the topic of conversation. Below are several letters I've written either talking about King Carl, or pretending to be him. All are in the Adobe Acrobat (PDF) format:
King Carl on Bi-State II King Carl on NFL Trading Deadline King Carl's Management Postulates How To Speed Read Rufus Dawes Carl's 2004 Year End Letter to Fans King Carl's Contract Extension as GM King Carl Lists His Favorite Accomplishments King Carl Posing as Rufus Dawes King Carl's Answering Machine King Carl Relaxes After the Draft King Carl On Free Agency King Carl On Stadium Lease King Carl Signs Derrick Johnson Rufus Dawes Warning about 2005 Season King Carl on Eve of 2005 Season King Carl After Loss in Buffalo King Carl On KC Superbowl Bid King Carl After Loss to NY Giants King Carl Picks a New Head Coach King Carl Fought The Law And The Law Won Rufus Dawes on Herm Edwards Rufus Dawes and His Thesaurus King Carl After Loss to Cleveland King Carl After Playoff Loss At Indy Rufus Dawes-Gasm